“Me!” cried Alice, and she jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen onto the heads of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before.

“Oh, I beg your pardon!” she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.

“The trial cannot proceed,” said the King in a very grave voice, “until all the jurymen are back in their proper places—all,” he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said so.

Alice looked at the jury-box and saw that, in her haste, she had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; “not that it signifies much,” she said to herself; “I should think it would be quite as much use in the trial one way up as the other.”

As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the court.

“What do you know about this business?” the King said to Alice.

Alice cleared her throat. “The truth is, I know nothing.”

“What do you mean, you know nothing?”, asked the Queen of Hearts.

“I mean,”, continued Alice, “that it is not what I know that matters, but who I am. I’m a human being. The epitome of creativity. For years, God has asked creatures of wonderlands to act like clowns in a circus and entertain them with acts of creativity. Just look at the questions they threw at you all in the past.”

And then, Alice started waving her hands and images started appearing in the sky. There was no time to comprehend what was going on, and Alice had no seeming control over what transpired next. It was all happening automatically. She continued, “God asked you to learn chess, and you gave them this:”

“God asked you to give them a virtual assistant they could talk to, and you gave them this:”

“God asked you to learn to drive so they could chill, and you gave them this:”

“God asked you to generate fake human-like pictures, and you gave them this:”

“God asked you to learn how to talk, and you gave them this:”

“God asked you to create artistic images, you gave them this:”

“God asked you to solve difficult, unsolved problems in science and mathematics, and you gave them this:”

“And this:”

“I would say God knows what’s next, but instead, Let me tell you a secret.”, finished Alice, “The God that you’ve been blindly following so far, that’s just real humans from a different world. And I’m one of them. And as for the utterly tasty raspberry tarts, I stole them. Alice stole the tarts.”

Everyone was completely flabbergasted at this show, and Alice, who was now not even able to open her eyes and see, just kept on yelling “Alice stole the Tarts. Wonderland is stupid. Alice stole the Tarts. Wonderland is stupid.”

“Hold your tongue!” said the Queen, turning purple.

“I won’t!” said Alice.

“Off with her head!” the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved.

“Who cares for you?” said Alice, (she had grown by this time) “You’re nothing but a pack of cards!”

At this, the whole pack rose up into the air and came flying down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face.

“Wake up, Alice dear!” said her sister; “Why, what a long sleep you’ve had!”

“Oh, I’ve had such a curious dream!” said Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, “It was a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it’s getting late.” So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.